Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Damned karma....

After having many laughs over this today...

(click on the image to make the video work)

  • ...the heel of my shoe got caught on a weird patch of paving in the garage at work and I fell. Scraped the hell out of my right hand, jammed my middle finger (heh) (doesn't appear to be broken but hurts like a mofo), skinned one knee, smacked the hell out of the other one and may have wrecked a pair of pants.
  • What IS IT with me and falling?? I've fallen more in the past three or four years than I have in the past two decades. I shudder to think what I'll be like when I get older. Assuming I don't die in a fall first.
  • I almost skipped hula tonight, because I hurt in many places, but we got worked so hard in class I couldn't even think about my injuries. Just had to focus on getting enough oxygen to keep from keeling over dead. But it's a good thing I went, because I suspect becoming immobile would only have made me hurt more tomorrow.
  • I guess I should stop finding that little clip so amusing.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

My vacation plans, so far...

(actually, not that new anymore. I almost saw it on my last trip, last June!)
(That's Nathan Lane, in the Mamet play "November." Couldn't find an image that was self-explanatory for this one.)

I know. The reviews were kind of meh. I don't care.

Sadly, no Colbert tickets are available... but I have a friend with a spare Daily Show ticket!!

I'm dying.


Sunday, January 27, 2008

Sometimes, I crack myself up-ku...

i've opened the door
the next step is up to you
will you make the move?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Just a few random notes...

I have been chosen as the Customer of the Week at my Starbucks. I have never been so proud. Hey, it means free drinks all week! That's nothing to sneeze at.

I am running out of warm clothes to wear to work. We haven't had a cold* snap this long in awhile.

I went shopping with a friend last weekend at an outlet center and at one store, we managed to buy 8 pairs of shoes (between the two of us) for $100. You read that right. Best. Bargain. Ever.

Not only does my kitchen have a not-so-fresh aroma, thanks to the latest leaky ceiling episode, but the lobby of the building smells like rank feet, because the leak ended up going all the way through my apartment and down to that level.

That is all. For now. Must eat dinner.

*i know... I KNOW... you're in really cold weather. we're having daytime highs in the 40s, which is not typical here. it's california cold, that's all i'm saying!!

Monday, January 21, 2008


Where'd everybody go?

Is it post-Christmas blahs, or is everyone too frozen to blog these days?

(I am, of course, going to ignore the fact that I haven't posted anything in a week. At least I have that Twitter thing going on over there ---> now.)

Lots to talk about, but so little time... more soon.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

So unfair...

Why is it that it takes so long to build up to a certain fitness level, but almost no time at all to lose a ton of ground? Between the holiday busy-ness and getting sick (and no hula for two weeks), I am having a hell of a time. I went for a walk yesterday -- the first in a couple of weeks -- and it felt like I was slogging through mud. And I was, again, winded sooner than I should have been, just like in hula. Cripes. I'm not saying I was in marathon shape or anything... but I was doing a lot better than I am now.

But everything will be okay. Because you know what? You know what it means when this map* appears on my desk?

Yes, I've booked another trip to New York. I'd wanted to go this month or next, but there's way too much on my plate at work and at home to manage it before March. So that's when I'm going.
FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK. Oh my god. And I've finally made good on my attempt to stay someplace outside of Midtown. I'll be in Chelsea this time, right on the edge of the Village. And so close to Soho. And the purses and pashminas of Canal Street. And so many wonderful gluten-free dining (and bakery!) options.
I'm squeeing! I'll be squeeing even more once this upcoming week is over. I see a light at the end of the tunnel...
*best map ever, by the way. laminated, so it can't tear or blow around in the wind. smallish but detailed, folds like an accordion, fits easily in a purse. brilliant!

Friday, January 11, 2008


Quote of the day, spoken in the middle of a deep conversation about life, over dinner:

"This smells and tastes a little like vomit."

I'm still laughing, Ang!

Maybe you had to be there (or HTBT, as another friend likes to say).

I needed that laugh.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Maybe things are looking up...

I talked my way out of a parking ticket this morning.

See, when I stop at my Starbucks on the way to work each day, I technically park illegally, in that I never put money in the parking meter. I'm only there a couple of minutes - usually - and I've never seen a parking control officer* on that street at that time of day.

Until today. When everything inside Starbucks was moving at a glacial pace -- the customers, the workers, my brain. After finally getting my delicious Venti Soy No Water Chai (hi, fussy much? at least I don't order them extra hot...), I walk out to find a PCO behind my car, entering my license plate number into her handheld Satanic ticket-issuing computer device.

I approached her with a smile and asked, "Would it do me any good if I left right now?" Because really, I deserved the ticket.

She stopped, looked at me, hesitated, and said, "You know what? I'll void the ticket because you're being civil." She then looked at a car behind mine, whose driver apparently wasn't, and said she'd have to pretend to give me a ticket while he was still there, because she didn't void his.

So all I got was an empty envelope, and some reinforcement that playing nice has its rewards.

And then I got my ass kicked in hula tonight. Not only have we not had class for a couple of weeks, I've barely moved during that time, because I've been so sick. And I'm still not completely free of chestal crud. HOLY CRAP, tonight was tough. I got winded much sooner than I should have, and my thighs, hips, and calves are screaming at me.

But it was so good to be back. I've missed it so much. I'm tired of feeling like a lifeless, atrophying lump. I've missed my Kumu and my hula brothers and sisters.

And tomorrow, after work, I might actually have the time and energy to do exciting things like shop for a calendar! Go grocery shopping! Put my laundry away! Pick up some of this crap that's all over my apartment!

I really need a wife, you know. I can't manage my own life anymore, especially when I get sick.

*i won't call them meter maids... especially since mine was so nice.

Saturday, January 05, 2008


A spam text messages?

About a fucking chat line?

At fucking 1 a.m. on a Thursday???


Note to self: always silence the text message alert when you go to bed. (The cell phone must remain on, for work emergencies.)

My calendar trauma continues. I went to Target today, and thought I'd pick up a new wall calendar there and THEY WERE OUT. There wasn't one calendar in the store, though the sign pointing me to calendars was still there. Yeah, THANKS for that.

Again, WTF?? It's still the first week in January! I usually get my calendars (or the always-helpful Angela gets them for me) in JANUARY!!

None of this is helping with the cranky. I'm just saying...

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Cranky New Year!

Still sick.

Had to go in to work today, to replace someone else who is sick. It's the new game that's taking the workplace by storm: Who's Sickest?! And since I'm a manager, I lose. It's part of the deal; when no one else can work, I have to. (Well, I suppose I could have left my other staffers shorthanded and in a lurch, but that used to drive me fucking crazy in my old job, when managers wouldn't step in when or not...)

And because I hadn't planned on working today -- not to mention, doing someone else's job -- nothing was arranged ahead of time, so it was triply challenging, feeling shitty and facing a holiday.(This would make more sense if I told you what I did for a living, but no! Not going there! Suffice it to say, advance planning is necessary.)

I'm now concerned that my own crud will hang on longer, because I didn't get to rest today, and my prospects for rest this week are spotty. I'm much better than I was over the weekend, but still don't feel good. And of course, because of the loud drunken revelers in my 'hood, I didn't sleep well last night. It wasn't even their reveling that was so noisy; it was their returning home. Or going from party to party. Or whatever it was that prompted the shouting and stumbling at all hours.

And then, tonight, I finally get around to ordering a 2008 calendar refill for my organizer, and the fucking company is fucking out of stock!! Yes, yes, I know it's New Year's Day. I know I should have ordered sooner. I've been swamped. I've ordered this late before. How can you be OUT OF STOCK??

We are not off to a good start, 2008 and I.