Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Wednesday, October 31, 2007


Sister Theresa Catherine, Mother Inferior.
Don't mess with her.

She's not afraid to use that ruler. Judging by that look on her face, she WANTS to use that ruler...
(A stranger I passed on the street today asked me if I was wearing a costume. Oh. My. GOD. I was told by several people that I'm a very convincing nun. I really am fulfilling the prophecy set forth by that very nun-like name of mine...!!)

(Also? I took off the costume a few hours ago, and it STILL feels like that stuff is on my head. I have a new respect for actual nuns who have to wear real habits.)

Monday, October 29, 2007

Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays...

That would be me.

I am too cranky to post right now.

Even though I got to watch some amazing hula this weekend. Truly amazing. And humbling.

Even though I have ten million yummy new bottles of wine, purchased during a lovely trip to wine country last Thursday.

Even though I had a blast hanging (and gossiping) with my hula brothers and sisters (sorry, this is what we're supposed to call each other) during a gathering away from class last week. And during a pre-show gala the other night.


I'm sure I've forgotten to include the cover sheet on my TPS report today, too. Yes, I have the memo.

Monday, October 22, 2007



I have the worst sinus headache ever. It's as if my sinuses are the perfect tool to measure the amount of humidity in the air; when there is little to none, as there is now, they hurt like a mofo.

But at least I'm not fleeing the community in which I grew up, and watching it go up in flames behind me.

If you've watched CNN at all today, you may have become familiar with the San Diego county town of Rancho Bernardo*. That's where I spent my formative years, and it's really strange watching these crazy fires consume parts of it.

Even worse, my dear friends in Poway, one town over, have had to evacuate... as have most of their relatives in nearby communities. The thing is... these fires are burning so fast and furious, it seems like there will soon be no place to go. There are coastal towns that have been evacuated. Are these fires going to burn all the way to the sea??

Now, as some of you may recall, I have a lot of less-than-rosy memories of my years in this part of the world, and couldn't get out fast enough. I don't think I could stand to live there ever again. But it still breaks my heart to watch what's happening. It's really strange seeing my hometown on CNN. And to wonder whether our old townhouse is still standing.

And I'm very worried for my pal Cindy and her clan; they're like my second family, and they've been kind enough to let me crash their Thanksgiving celebrations for the past several years (though she's joking today that I should be prepared to host all of THEM this year...).

So please join me in sending positive thoughts their way. And let's all call on Mother Nature to turn up the humidity and turn off the wind, 'mmmkay?

*photo of Rancho Bernardo from the Los Angeles Times

**UPDATED TO ADD: Good news -- Cindy and her parents were allowed to return to their homes today (Tuesday), though they're keeping their cars packed and ready to go. Her brother, who lives in Ramona with his wife and young daughter, can't go home yet, but it looks like their home is okay. My old house isn't on the official list of burned houses, but it looks like the place where my pal Kimmy used to live nearby is gone -- a neighbor's is, along with a bunch of other homes on the same street. I have many fond memories of the time we spent there, swimming, hot tubbing, and laughing our asses off.

Thanks for all your kind wishes and good thoughts.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

You know I'd vote for him...

Hell, I'd be his Monica Lewinsky!

I guess my "Stewart/Colbert '08" shirt is already out of date...

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


I've done it again. And I'm regretting it.

Yes, I've stepped back into the world of online dating. This was in the interest of putting a message out to the universe, inviting some momentum into this part of my life, yada yada yada. Whatevs.

And I have one question for you: what is it with some men and run-on sentences?? It seems that nearly every dude I've heard from has a profile (or composes email) that's nothing but one long sentence with tons of misspelled words and no real point. I'm sorry, but this stuff matters to me. I'm a sucker for a clever, well-written mash note.

It was funny for awhile there. I mean, REALLY the point where I'd practically pee my pants reading profiles/emails. Now I'm just bored with it. I'm still exchanging emails with one guy who actually READ what I wrote about myself (a rarity!) and what I'm seeking, but I'm bored with this getting-to-know-you conversation already.

As I said... meh. What was I thinking?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

A couple of plugs...

I'm one of those people who has tons of books around, but little time to read them. (Perhaps if I'd turn off the computer, I'd have more time for these books...) But that doesn't stop me from buying more books. I love to read.

Let me recommend a couple I've just bought, because they're authored by people who are in my blogroll.

"Drunk, Divorced & Covered in Cat Hair, " by Crazy Aunt Purl (also known as Laurie Perry). If you don't read her blog, you're missing out. You know I don't knit -- I am the least crafty person I know, because I have absolutely no patience for things at which I suck. But Laurie's a hilarious writer who has also written some incredibly poignant stuff on her blog about her divorce. I could feel her pain (and certainly relate to it). And more often than not, she makes me laugh out loud. I'd love to share some wine with her one day. Go read her blog right now. And see how long you can resist buying the book.

"Gluten-Free Girl," by Shauna James Ahern, aka... you guessed it... the Gluten-Free Girl. She is such a gifted writer that one of my friends who does NOT have Celiac reads this blog. It's not just about the food, though I feel like she's given me a gift by showing me new things to try. All those gluten-free places I've tried in New York I learned about from her. Shauna has just gotten married, and she regularly moves me to tears with the tales of her relationship with her Chef. Their story is beyond sweet (and he's made his restaurant completely gluten-free because of her). I can't adequately explain why I'm such a fan of hers; just go click on that blog link now and see for yourself.

These are two books I'll definitely be making time for. Just as soon as I post this...

Thursday, October 11, 2007


You two (allegedly) adult males tossing a football around on a busy city street!

Did you happen to notice that there's a park -- a nice, roomy one, with lots of wide-open space -- a half-block away? Where there's no traffic to dodge? And no parked cars to worry about hitting?

How about you go play, I don't know, IN THE FUCKING PARK, instead of forcing me (and other drivers) to play chicken with you every day??

Just a thought.

Hey! You there, walking your dog at 11:30 at night...

I applaud your commitment to your pet. Really, it's good you're taking him/her out at this hour.

But could you maybe NOT have a LOUD-ASS FUCKING CONVERSATION on your fucking cell phone as you pass underneath my bedroom window? Is this conversation REALLY so important that you have to annoy an entire city block?? This late at night??

Or maybe you can tell me where you live, and I'll be sure to find an air horn to sound under your window at 4:30 in the morning someday.

Just being as neighborly as you are.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Holding out...

See, now if HE were single...

...that last post wouldn't have happened.

  • (And I know you can't really see it... but do you see the title of the book? At the top, above his name, it says "From the author of 'I Am America (And So Can You.'" HahahahahahahahHAAAAAh.)

  • *Sigh...

Image courtesy Comedy Central

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Flying solo...

I'm starting to think I've been single for too long to ever be able to be in a relationship again.

Not that there are any serious contenders at the moment. I'm just feeling... restless... of late. Thinking it would be really lovely to have a little romance in my life. But then I look at this life and wonder if I even remember how to make room in it for someone else.

When the ex-hub and I split nearly eleven years ago, it was the first time in my adult life that I was truly on my own (though one could argue I was living like a single person during much of that relationship). It took me awhile to learn to sleep in the middle of the bed; now, I can't imagine sleeping any other way. I can't imagine making room in my admittedly large apartment for someone else's stuff, even though I shared this place when I started living here.

Now, this entire space is truly my own. It's all my stuff cluttering it up. My life is my own. My time is my own (except for, you know, that pesky job thing). I kinda like it that way. If I feel like spending hours watching bad television, that's no one else's concern but mine. If I get the urge to buy new shoes, or to spend too much money at Sephora, there's no one to question whether I should really be doing that.

Yeah, I've dated a little here and there since the divorce, but never very seriously. Never to the point where any of these issues came up. For the past decade, my life has mostly been all about me, me, me.

It's funny that the thing that's most troubled me in the romance department has been the lack of interesting, available fellas in my life. Maybe the bigger issue is whether I even know how to be in a relationship anymore.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Okay, that was weird...

I've no idea what the hell was going on with Blogger and the Dashboard last night when I was trying to post, but it's back to normal now.

Just in time for this really fascinating post.

You know what sucks? Having free tickets to what sounds like a very cool wine and food event tomorrow and no friends available to join me.

Did I mention the free wine? Along with the wine that's free? And the freeness of the wine?

So I think I'm going to put on my brave face, and go solo. If I'm not enjoying it, I can always leave, right?

But if you're one of my friends who's available, call me! Hell, even if we've never met, and you're in the area...

This is one of the challenges of being single. I actually like doing many things solo -- just bought a ticket to see American Ballet Theatre in Berkeley next month, as a matter of fact -- but this is one of those things that's more fun with a friend.

EDITED TO ADD: So I went, and was pretty bored after about 45 minutes... especially since you could have called this thing Glutenfest, as most of the food was served on bread or crackers or was pasta. Understandable, as those are easy ways to serve crowds like this. But then I ran into a friend from work, and had loads of fun with her in and out of the VIP section. And then I engaged in some SUI... shopping under the influence. Not a bad day at all.

Thursday, October 04, 2007


What the hell has happened to Blogger? Why is the posting page different? It doesn't allow the options for posting photos or changing fonts... but instead allows for Enclosures and something called "MIME Type...?"



Tuesday, October 02, 2007

A little bit of heaven and a little bit of hell yeah...

Hell YEAH.

Great show. Awesome show. Not-so-great seats. We kept trying to convince ourselves that the sound mix was much better in our seats this time than in the ninth row, where we were for one show last year. And it's true; the sound was crystal clear. Ohhh, that voice.

Except the view was so much better last year. Ohhh, those eyebrows*. Le sigh...

And now, I'm completely spoiled. A couple of my colleagues are also big DMB fans, and they have really good connections, so at the last minute, they were able to rustle up a limo for us and five friends.


I used to think people who took limos to concerts were lame posers. Ummm...

No traffic to deal with. No parking to deal with. No long, arduous hike from the giant, faraway, seemslikeit'sontheothersideoftheBay dirt lot with no signage (no joke - you have to study the topography of the land to find your car again). And we got to enjoy some adult beverages on the ride there.

I'm not exaggerating when I say going to a sold-out show at this place can be a pain in the ass. This time? Pretty painless.

Of course, this also meant relinquishing control and getting there a tad late. You should have seen how fast Sherri and I left the limo area and hustled to our seats, once we realized the boys were already on stage.**

I don't want to wait another year before their return. Waaaah...

photo borrowed from

*i can't explain this to you. you have to see it. the man has the sexiest eyebrows around. and he knows how to use them. once, he did the thing he does when the camera was in tight on his face, and i swear, sherri and i both swooned and we grabbed each other like pre-teenagers. he has that effect on us.
**luckily, we only missed one tune. whew. i know. i'm a freak.