Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Hey!

You two (allegedly) adult males tossing a football around on a busy city street!

Did you happen to notice that there's a park -- a nice, roomy one, with lots of wide-open space -- a half-block away? Where there's no traffic to dodge? And no parked cars to worry about hitting?

How about you go play, I don't know, IN THE FUCKING PARK, instead of forcing me (and other drivers) to play chicken with you every day??

Just a thought.
-------------------------

Hey! You there, walking your dog at 11:30 at night...

I applaud your commitment to your pet. Really, it's good you're taking him/her out at this hour.

But could you maybe NOT have a LOUD-ASS FUCKING CONVERSATION on your fucking cell phone as you pass underneath my bedroom window? Is this conversation REALLY so important that you have to annoy an entire city block?? This late at night??

Or maybe you can tell me where you live, and I'll be sure to find an air horn to sound under your window at 4:30 in the morning someday.

Just being as neighborly as you are.

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At 12 October, 2007 02:03, Blogger latt├ęgirl said...

Not only do we share the same first name, we were also separated at birth.

With complete attitude.

 
At 12 October, 2007 12:36, Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

I'll be over to install a noise-sensitive water-balloon launcher that will automatically deploy when the noise exceeds 15db after 11 pm. Would that be acceptable?

yeharr

 
At 12 October, 2007 15:33, Blogger buddha_girl said...

Fucking idiots.

I think they're related to the two shmoos who have decided that, although they're only about 14 fucking years old, they should ride up and down my SUBURBAN street on a dirt bike and a fucking Vespa with no helmets, at break-neck speed.

The next time it happens I will call the police and say, "Either you come and ticket these fucktard, or I'll be forced to peg them in the heads with one of my son's poopie diapers as they drive by. It's your choice."

 
At 12 October, 2007 21:41, Blogger terry said...

lattegirl, sometimes i just hate people. they're the worst.

pirate, yes! that's a spectacular idea! thank you.


buddha girl, i love the idea of poopy diapers as deterrents! probably the best thing around.

 
At 13 October, 2007 11:57, Blogger Jon said...

I hear ya. Inconsiderate assholes!!!

 
At 13 October, 2007 14:51, Blogger Big Momma Pimpalishisness With A Cherry On Top said...

awesomeness.

 
At 13 October, 2007 16:12, Blogger The Savage said...

Boiling oil... keep some in the window.... as for the football players.... keep boiling oil in the car too... many a siege was ended with boiling oil.... or not.... but hey... its a lovely idea...

 
At 18 October, 2007 13:12, Blogger masgblog said...

oh the things that I would love to say sometimes...but never do....thx for saying them for me...

 

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