Chemistry test...

It's one of those things no one can define, but we all know it has to be there to make a relationship work. (Even friendships require a certain chemistry, no?) And when it's not there, boy, is that obvious.


I dated a guy a few years ago who was a really wonderful man -- smart, funny, caring, etc etc. -- but I had no physical attraction to him at all. I dated him longer than I probably should have, because I really WANTED it to work. He possessed so many of the qualities I seek... but the first time he kissed me, I wanted him to stop. Not a good sign. I knew at that moment I had to end it.

But here is what I always wonder: can chemistry develop over time? Or is it something that has to be there at the outset of a relationship?


Me, I've seen it both ways. I've been in situations where I've felt it instantly, and I've also felt it develop after knowing someone for a long time.

So that kind of dooms so many dating situations -- particularly of the online variety, once it enters the real world -- because everyone's looking for instant chemistry. I'm guilty of that as well.


I'd like to know your thoughts....

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving! See y'all next week.

Queen of the Klutzes...

So there I was, walking down the stairs in my apartment building yesterday, carrying my purse, the bag I schlep to work, and a box o'stuff to be shipped to a friend, when my heel got caught in bottom of my jeans...and I fell.

It was one of those things that seemed almost to happen in slow motion. As soon as I lost my footing, I knew the fall was unstoppable, and that the landing was going to be painful. I was standing about 5'10" in those shoes...

And it was painful. After sorta tumbling sideways down about five steps, I landed on my back on the lobby floor, whacking my head on the ground as I did. Luckily, I didn't lose consciousness, but I did have the wind knocked out of me for a few seconds.

And then I didn't know what to do. I stayed put for a few moments, trying to assess how seriously I'd hurt myself. Then I sat up, and crawled carefully over to the stairs to sit there for a little while. I had no idea what to do. Should I go back to my apartment? Should I go to the hospital? Should I get in my car and go to work? I seemed to be okay, though completely rattled, so I eventually got up, picked up my things and went to my car. I sat in it for a few moments, still unsure of how to proceed.

I ended up heading to work, because aside from the nasty headache, I was intact. And I figured it would be best to be around people who could keep an eye on me all day and call for help if it turned out that I WAS seriously hurt. Of course, the first thing I did when I got there was to research concussions online, to see whether I really SHOULD be seeking medical attention.

Here's the really amazing thing: aside from the bump* on my head, and a couple of surprisingly small bruises, I'm fine. I've shown no symptoms of a serious concussion. I'm sore today in many places -- my neck, my upper back, and my core muscles are especially unhappy -- but nothing is broken, nothing bled, nothing is so bad that some rest, relaxation, stretching and anti-inflammatories won't heal. (And I am closely monitoring myself, in case something serious develops...)

I'm thinking I should stop thinking such negative thoughts about my body. Yes, it's bigger than I'd like it to be, but it has been strong and resilient through all of the torture I've put it through in my 43 years. And perhaps some of that extra padding I carry around actually helped me in this case...!


*i so wanted to write "i have a bimp on my head," but wasn't sure how many people would get it...

Somebody stop me...

I have gone shopping-crazy of late.

I've always been a clothes fiend. I LOVE to shop for clothes -- when I can find stuff that's flattering, that is. And in those years of extreme frugality, I didn't do much of that. I just couldn't. And I'd rarely shop unless a sale was underway (I'll always be a sucker for a bargain).

Now that my financial situation has changed, though... um... well... yeah. There's some pent-up desire that's been unleashed, that's for sure... and I keep finding really flattering clothing. I mean, there's stuff I've tried on and thought, DAMN. This looks GOOD on me. How can I not buy something that makes me feel like that?

I've even found a really cute dress for my company Christmas party - one I just love, and am not just tolerating. I can't wait to break it out.

It's so wonderful to have so many options to choose from on any given day. I can go forever without worrying about laundry. I even have some clothes now that make me look like I'm a professional and everything. Whoda thunk?

But I have to stop now. I think I've bought more new clothes and shoes in the past six months than I have in the past six years. It's time to stop.

For now. Well, once I get some boots to wear with this other really cute dress that gets rave reviews whenever I wear it. THEN I'm done. No really.

Then again, Black Friday approacheth...

SO...flippin'...busy!

A peek into the last couple of weeks:

Hula classes, twice a week.

Two hula shows, including a gala dinner.

A separate weeknight outing with my hula brothers and sisters. (I actually hula'd in public. Eek!)

A day of wine-tasting.

A wine-sodden, work-related banquet, where I (and my co-workers) managed to piss some people off. Oops.

A wine-sodden* Oakland Raiders game, in the extreme heat. Okay, it felt extreme, sitting in the hot sun with no breeze whatsoever. Did I mention that was the day after the aforementioned banquet?

A weeknight dinner at a colleague's house, the same day I spent many hours in that nun's habit.

A weeknight outing to celebrate the engagement of a friend.

A weeknight performance of American Ballet Theatre, across the Bay. (Omigod, they were amazing. SO glad I went, despite my state of crabby exhaustion. Got to see a ballet I've wanted to see for decades, and it was fantastic.)

Very, very busy days at work... VERY. I spent a couple of days doing someone else's job while also trying to do my own. FUN.

I have hardly been home. I am so tired I want to throw up.

I am so happy I have a massage scheduled for Sunday morning.

TGI(almost)F.


*remember, i can't drink beer. hello, glass o'gluten! if i could, you wouldn't find me drinking wine at a sporting event. sheesh.