Epilogue...*

So I reached out one last time, largely to tell him I thought it was pretty cold to just go silent the way he had, and that it surprised me coming from him, since he seemed to be a man of integrity and manners. And added that it's much kinder, if you want to end things, to just say so.

A few days later, I got a reply: said he hadn't realized he'd gone silent until he'd gotten my note. And that he hadn't intended to end anything.

Um, wha?? By this time, it had been three weeks since we'd talked/emailed. And I'd made three attempts to reach him before that last note.

He did say he realized he hadn't been putting in the time or effort he needed to. But really, in our constantly connected age, how can you not notice you've not made contact with someone you' ve been dating for that long?

So I replied with essentially that message, and that it troubled me that he didn't think that was a long gap....but that (perhaps foolishly) I was leaving the door open.

Why? I know myself pretty well. I know I don't often meet men I like as much as I liked him, and if there was a way to make this work, I'd be willing to explore that. Not to the point of subjugating my needs, mind you.

His reply, bullshit, or no? He's not in a place in his life right now where he can be consistent or reliable in a relationship, way too much on his plate, yada yada yada.... would like to stay in touch, though. Yada.

You might wonder, as I did, what the hell he was doing on a dating site then, but he's since deleted his profile.

Who knows what's really going on in his life, but I have no regrets about anything I said or did in that...whatever you want to call it.

So now I'm back to the land of getting hit on by guys who are much older than I, and also dudes in their 20's who are apparently hoping for some cougar action. Eccch. Oh, and then there's the guy I was supposed to meet tonight who flaked on me. (S'alright - he has the same name as my ex-husband, and I don't think I could date another guy with that name!)

So tired of flaky guys. My "delete profile" finger's getting very itchy again...


*Apparently, this blog is now a Quinn-Martin Production: The Dork of San Francisco!

Well, that was...fun?

God, I hate being such a cliche.

So, the guy has suddenly vanished. I've reached out a few times since I last heard from him (and everything seemed entirely fine) but the silence now is deafening. It's clear to me that I've been blown off.

I am, as you might expect, perplexed. And a little more sad than I expected. It's rare for me to meet a guy I like as much as I liked him, especially online. But I know it's better to find out now that it's not going to work out than later, when I'm in even deeper.

I know it's uncomfortable to end things in an honorable fashion, but just disappearing with no explanation is so much worse.

I give up.

Onward.