Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I got nothin'...

But I've been meaning to link this piece for weeks now. It's really interesting. And again makes me grateful that I've not experienced this kind of pressure from family or friends. Or even the community. Yay, San Francisco!

I've written about this subject before. But what I find really astonishing is that people feel so free to judge the childless -- and it's typically the women who bear the brunt of this -- for their decision not to procreate.

Can we not just concern ourselves with our own shit??

At 03 April, 2007 20:20, Blogger sassinak said...

that's a great article terry, thanks for linking it.

and i should slowly rejoin the internet as i get more shit done around here. i have a lot of settling in to do...

At 03 April, 2007 22:03, Blogger buddha_girl said...

Terry, AMEN!

ALthough I always knew I wanted kids and would have at least one, married or not, I applaud people who have chosen to NOT become parents.

I admire their honesty and insight. I don't think it has to do with being selfish at all - unlike many other people. Rather, it's a conscious choice to live as they please without putting a kid in the mix. If more people actually THOUGHT about becoming parents before becoming pregnant, we'd have a ton more happy adults and fewer kids who were throw-aways.

You, sister, are welcome any time in Virginia. I won't even ask you to wipe Buddha's nose. I will also add that he's a great dancer. He'd love to hula with ya!

At 03 April, 2007 22:05, Blogger buddha_girl said...

Fuck. One more thing:

People who comment on other peoples' choices, especially concerning something as personal as parenthood, should be summarily shot by a firing squad.

I don't go around selling cootchie shots when I get a pap smear. Why would I want someone to know my other personal business?

At 04 April, 2007 07:24, Blogger What the Chuck said...

Hi T,

I've got a sure-fire inoculation for people that think they want to have kids.

I let them babysit my chimps for a weekend.

After the endless demands for bananas and bagels, only a couple of broken lamps, and the endless tinkle of the Gameboys, they say uncle.

My kids are tough.



At 04 April, 2007 07:44, Blogger Natalie said...

It isn't like there is a shortage of people in the world. It is a good thing that some don't want to have children. I think smaller families are also becomming more common now. Kids are too expensive to have.

At 04 April, 2007 07:54, Blogger Queen of Cheese said...

I like not having kids because that frees up my love and care for all the kids of my friends!!

Besides, I am already O-C-D about the smooshems. I could not handle the WORRY and STRESS of junior high again.
Thanks terry. :o).

At 04 April, 2007 08:12, Blogger nomadshan said...

Thanks, Terry - nice article. Dave + I had a taxi driver in Thailand ask us, "But who will cry when you die?" as if that should be a motivating factor. As I get older, though, fewer people question our decision.

At 04 April, 2007 08:41, Blogger cadbury_vw said...

there are plenty of good reasons not to have kids

and if a you feel no internal compulsion to have them...

you shouldn't

and other people should keep their noses out of that business.

i find that if you don't do "what everyone else is doing" you get a lot of raised eyebrows. if the masses would actually stop and consider what they are doing (on pretty much anything) istead of just doing it because everyone else is - the world would be a better place

At 04 April, 2007 13:49, Blogger terry said...

sass, is that really you???

buddhagirl, you're right - so often this is seen as a selfish decision. and in some ways, for me, it is. but it's also about not taking something on that i know i'm not capable of.

and you made me laugh with the last part of your comment. ha!

chuck, i'll bet your kids are awesome. what's with the bananas and bagels though??

natalie, that's an excellent point.

cheese, i know exactly what you mean!

shan, that's a hilarious question.

cad, excellent point! i hate the notion of doing something just because everyone else is doing it. or thinks it's the right thing to do.

At 04 April, 2007 18:45, Blogger The Savage said...

Ummmm I got nothing but my presence....

At 04 April, 2007 20:01, Blogger JMai said...

Wow, people are far too interested in the lives of others and making ridiculously critical comments about them with no basis in reality or understanding.

Normally I expect it comes from a latent inferiority complex but no matter what it is, it's retarded. Honestly.

Why would anyone care if women or couples chose not to have children? There are TONS of kids in our overcrowded schoolrooms, making a ruckus in the movie theatres, and forgetting to flush the public toilets.

Not to mention the fact that it's got to make an infertile woman feel 100 times worse to have her barrenness questioned and then characterised as selfishness. I mean, really? The idea that one's choice to live life as one pleases is so offensive to others that they think you "deserve to die alone" is preposterous!

Personally, I can't wait to be a mommy and hope very much that I will get the chance soon. But it's no more anyone's place to criticise my choice to procreate as it would be mine to criticise their decision to live freely. Sometimes neices and nephews are enough. And sometimes? Even that is too much.

And so what, either way? Eesh.


At 08 April, 2007 08:37, Blogger Blondie said...

This article is so interesting. I'm going to share it with my mommy friends the next time we get into a kid/no kid debate.


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