Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I can hear you now, dammit...!

For as long as I can remember, I've kept the phone as far away from my bed as possible. I've worked all sorts of funky schedules that have forced me to sleep when normal people are awake, doing business or making social phone calls. So it was a matter of self-preservation to keep the phone away from my sleeping area.

My friends would often joke about calling me in the middle of the night on my days off to fuck with me, and I always dared them to do it... because they'd be talking to my answering machine only. Ha haha hahahahaha ha HA, can't catch me.

But now that I'm all important and stuff, with actual, you know, RESPONSIBILITIES, I have to keep a phone in the bedroom. I even have TWO phones on my nightstand now -- the landline, and the cell. I have to be available for emergency calls. (Stop laughing, John...) I knew that would be the case when I took this job, and I'm ready to deal with it. I can't say I'll enjoy it, but it is, as I used to joke when I was not a manager, why they pay me the "big" bucks.

And because of a big debacle involving the phone company (partly my error, but mostly theirs), I have a new phone number. And that's not such a bad thing, even though I'd had my other number for nearly 20 years and am still trying to remember what the hell my new number is. I figure the new one might reduce the number of calls I don't want... especially if I'm trying to sleep in on a weekend morning.

So imagine my surprise when my phone rang at about 11:25 Saturday night. I had conked out on the couch, but woke up quickly, thinking something must have happened that required my attention.

Nope. There's a name on the caller ID I've never seen before. Wrong number. Fine.

But last night, around 11 p.m., just a little while after I'd fallen asleep, the same person called! I didn't manage to get the phone before the machine picked up, but how can this clown not get that I'm not the person he or she is trying to call??

It then took another hour or so before I could fall back asleep again, goddammit.

If I get another one of these calls, a Chieko Evans and I are going to have an interesting little chat...

At 29 August, 2006 19:53, Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

Not to take Chieko's side on this, but I have on more than one occasion dialed the same wrong number more than once. Sometimes, I just punch the numbers in the incorrect sequence, or hit a wrong key. Other times, I've written the number down wrong (or someone else gave it to me wrong). Usually, if I've dialed a wrong number, I assume the first. Sometimes it's the second, which means a carefully and thoughtfully...redail a wrong number.

Here's a link to Bill Maher's spiel on pluto:


At 29 August, 2006 20:48, Blogger DZER said...

well it wasn't me ... I would have left a message filled with heavy breathing ;)

At 29 August, 2006 23:01, Blogger Reg said...

I once had a phone humber that was one number off from San Diego Gas and Electric. I got calls at all hours of the day and night, seven days a week. Sometimes, when I told the person they had the wrong number, they'd insist that I turn their electricity back on. Morons. After two weeks, I insisted that the phone company change the number free of charge. Amazingly, they did.

BTW- what's your number? I'd love to hear you jump when I call.... :)

At 30 August, 2006 04:40, Blogger JMai said...

Wow, people still have land line phones....?

At 30 August, 2006 07:25, Blogger Jeannette said...

Did you get a number that wasn't easy to remember? Everytime that we move, I request a number that "sings". It's got to have a jingle to it or me and my three kids will not be able to remember it. This time I got smart, or so I thought and got one that ended with two zeros. Unfortunately, I'm one number off of an elementary school two neighborhoods away. Now, I get moms calling me to tell me little Johnny won't be at school today. Oh well.

At 30 August, 2006 09:34, Blogger sassinak said...

well is the cell phone for work?
leave it on vibrate (nice alarm clock btw) on the table and put a flasher on your landline.

that way if you're asleep you'll sleep through it. work will try the cell too right?

At 30 August, 2006 10:05, Blogger bg's Little Sis said...


Just catching up, I've missed so much since you returned, have loved each post, your hilarity always makes me smile...happy for you on all fronts, and the David Cassidy thing was GREAT! So glad you're back, and I'll be better at keeping up with are the new and improved hula arms doing?

lots of love,

At 30 August, 2006 18:35, Blogger masgblog said...

Many years ago, while my husband was away on a business trip, I started getting wrong numbers. Many wrong numbers, all day and all night. I found it odd, seeing as the phone never ever rang! So I started writing down the call display entries. I was getting 20 calls a day.

Then I started getting calls from guys talking like Donald Duck, and guys asking me for a date! Yikes!

So, on the Sunday morning, while glancing through the newspaper, a lightbulb came on. Maybe our number was like a 1-900 number, and sure enough, there was the identical last seven digits of our phone number, but printed in an exotic add as a 1-900 number. People thought they were getting this exotic service, without paying the phone fee.

That's when we decided to change the number.

p.s. - I enjoy your blog.

At 30 August, 2006 20:24, Blogger terry said...

oh, sure, pirate... go ahead and be all logical and rain on my rant....

dzer, you promise??

reg, that's hilarious. and horrifying! yikes!
and i'll be sure to put my phone number in cyberspace...!!!

jmai, you don't? i pretty much hate using my cell at home.

sass, that's not a bad idea, but i hesitate to silence either phone in any way, since i DO have to be available in an emergency. i'm very, very important.


lil'sis, you're so sweet! and the hula arms... eek. i missed class on monday, so i go thursday instead, and i've been practicing... and i'm still a spaz. aaagh!

masgblog, WHAT is with the donald duck impersonations on a phone sex line??? that's hilarious! and frightening!!
and thank you!

At 30 August, 2006 20:51, Blogger terry said...

oh! and jeannette, the number's easy enough to remember....but i've had the other one for nearly 20 years...! it's burned into my brain.

At 01 September, 2006 09:48, Blogger cadbury_vw said...

the last several holders of my new phone number appear to have had substatial problems with unpaid bills...

i have spent the last two months getting the bill collectors to fuck off ('scuse my language)


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