Father's Day...
So what do you on Father's Day when you've spent more of your life without your father than with him?
He died when I was 8.
I have always wondered how my life would have been different if he hadn't.
I wonder how his loss affects my relationships (or lack thereof) with men.
I wonder if he would be proud of the person I am.
I will never know.
(sorry so maudlin; I am in a major trough right now.)
posted by terry @ 12:46 PM
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At 18 June, 2006 15:06,
sassinak said...
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At 18 June, 2006 15:39,
DZER said...
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At 18 June, 2006 18:38,
Mouthy Girl said...
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At 19 June, 2006 05:56,
JMai said...
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At 19 June, 2006 10:19,
terry said...
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At 19 June, 2006 16:19,
Jon said...
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At 20 June, 2006 11:04,
sassinak said...
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At 16 July, 2008 21:30,
Charles Gramlich said...
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that's my major beef with the hallmark holidays... what about the people with no family to celebrate with?
in other news. i just found out salt is having a party today and i didn't get invited. not adorable enough i guess...
I'm sorry that you lost your father so early ... but I know for sure that he would be as proud as can be of you ... you're an amazing woman! *snuggles and smooches*
You know what? For a woman who basically lost her father when a girl begins needing a dad the most, you have turned out to be a complete winner.
I think all of our life experiences obviously make us who we are in a myriad of ways. I'm sure your dad's death has it's mark on how you interact with me, however it stops there.
Just from what I've learned from you ABOUT you in this short time, I know you had to have taken in a great deal from your dad by osmosis and don't even realize the lessons he taught you since you were so young. I'm thinking that the trials and tribulations you have with some men are due to THOSE men rather than you.
I'm here with a nice, bouncy, STRONG bungy cord. Let me know when you're ready to be sprung from your trough.
*hard hugs*
I hope you had some other fatherlike figures, men who played maybe even a small guiding role in your life, to spend Father's Day with. And if not, I hope you had a lovely Sunday to yourself.
It's crazy because all those questions you're asking, there really is no way to ever know. Except the one about being proud. He would, without a doubt, be proud of the person you are. Not just because that's simply what parents do, but also because ...how could he not?
Hope you make it out of your trough... your last week sounded pretty tough.
sass, word on those hallmark holidays.
and what's with the party unvitation? that's just not right.
dzer, thank you. you're so sweet.
buddha girl, thank you. i got a little peek into my dad's psyche some years ago when my mom gave me some letters he'd written -- mostly complaint letters to companies. they were so fucking funny. and i realized i'd not only picked up his sense of humor, but his writing style. so that's something i treasure.
jmai, i ended up having a little pity party (with cocktails, of course!) with miss cheese, so we could commiserate about all our recent sadness and try to look forward.
and yeah... so many things i can never know.
and thank you.
There is no doubt in my mind that he would be VERY proud of you. You are an amazing woman, and extremely in tune with the world.
As for your relationships, I would think that his influence would be minimal because how young you lost him. We all make bad relationship mistakes. They are not what define us.
I have twin half sisters that never met my dad until they were in their 30s (ya, he left before they were born). After my dad passed away one of them asked me if growing up with my dad was difficult. She had stated how they had a great dad that took care of them, and she saw that my dad was a difficult person to please.
I think they turned out great as did all of my siblings. Even a bad parent can be countered by having one good one. In hindsight my mom was amazing.
terry i got invited by his buddy and not by him... and then uninvited and then invited again. i should have been too proud to go but who cares right?
so i went. and yeah, he's adorable but no. :)
My wife's father died when she was 8. She really had a hard time with it. They were very close. It sounds as if you've come through strong though.
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