The real me...

You're no wilting flower, but sometimes you feel that way on the inside. Why not take a look at the disparity between the 'you' you present to the world and 'you' you know from the inside? Maybe it's just a little tiny disparity. Maybe it's a big one. Either way, it's interesting to investigate. Both 'yous' -- public and private -- are part of you, and exploring those 'yous' is one of your major projects in life.

This was one of my horoscopes from last week. I've been ruminating about it for days, because it's so on target.

Most of the time, I feel like I AM a wilting (and uber dorky) flower... yet I go to great lengths to make it appear as though I have my shit together. I guess we all do this, to some extent. Or do we?

Those who know me best know just what a mushy messy goofball I really am. And that at heart, I'm actually a shy person. An introvert. Who often feels like a fuck-up.

The loud, sassy, opinionated, obnoxious me only comes out when I'm around people with whom I'm comfortable. Oh, and at work, which is one of the few places where I DO feel confident and on top of things (most of the time. definitely not all the time).

So you can imagine how surprising it is to me when someone will tell me I have a strong presence, or even that I can be intimidating. It's happened more than once -- even my stupid ex-husband once said this to me -- and it shocks me every time. I can't help but wonder who the hell they're talking about. Because I know what a huge dork I truly am, despite the game face I can put on.

Now, I'm at a place where I really need to believe that I'm the confident, strong, together person I try to present to the world. I need to be my own best friend, my best cheerleader.

And it's ridiculous how much effort it's taking.