Sloth-o-rama...

It's no surprise to me
I am my own worst enemy...

I feel like a giant ball of mush. As if all of my muscles have atrophied during the past few months, during which I have exercised... oh.... three times? Maybe four?

Yeah, I can sit here and blame the weather, and the craziness of the holidays, and trips out of town, and my two bouts of illness... but the biggest factor of all is my own laziness. And now I'm kicking myself.

At least I still have the strength to do that.

I did Pilates for about eight years, give or take, until workers comp cut me off (Pilates was part of my rehab for a repetitive stress injury) a little more than a year ago. I loved it. I would loooove to have a Reformer and a Trap Table in my own home. Pilates completely changed my body, giving me a whole lot of core strength, flexibility, and killer thigh muscles. Not that anyone else could see this; there was still way too much ME on top of those muscles...but I could certainly see and feel the difference.

Even at times when I wasn't doing enough cardio, I always had the strength-training. And when I got cut off, I vowed I would continue to do the exercises that I COULD do without the apparatus at home.

Yeah.

I did from time to time, but I've not been the least bit discplined about it. And now I feel like I've lost all that muscle tone. All of it. I really noticed it on that drive to San Diego in November. My leg was actually sore by the end of the drive, in ways I hadn't experienced in many, many years.

And I also vowed that I would step up my walking schedule, in the absence of the Pilates.

Yeah. That didn't happen either.

And it's so stupid. I live in a great neighborhood for walking. All the routes I take include amazing views of the Golden Gate and the bay. I can tailor my routes to fit my energy level. Do I want more hills? I can add more hills. Feeling flat? I can keep it mostly flat.

Plus, I KNOW how much better I feel when I'm working out. I have more energy, I sleep better, I feel stronger, I eat less. Why is it so hard for me to get my ass out the door?

Why is it easier to keep commitments I make to other people than it is to commit to myself?

And now, since I feel like I've taken a huge slide backwards, I'm daunted by the prospect of starting over at what feels like zero. It's going to be hard. I'm going to feel sore. Waaaah.

But here I am now, publicly committing to get back on track. I took a 35 minute walk yesterday, and did some of my old Pilates stuff when I got home. I'll be up to 45 minutes by the weekend.

Seriously.