Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Have you ever...?

Stolen from Jenn's blog. Put an "X" next to the things you've done. Go ahead... do it! It's fun! And totally self-indulgent.
Then again, isn't blogging self-indulgent??

1. (x) Smoked a cigarette.
The usual kidly experimentation. I thought it was pretty disgusting even then.

2. ( ) Crashed a friend's car.

3. ( ) Stolen a car.

4. (x) Been in love.

5. (?) Been dumped.
Umm... kinda? Hard to explain.

6. (x) Shoplifted.
Not intentionally!! I told you, I tried to pay for that coat!!

7. ( ) Been fired/laid off. Lucky.

8. ( ) Been in a fist fight.

9. ( ) Snuck out of your parent's house.

10. (x) Had feelings for someone that didn't have them back.
Well, of course.

11. ( ) Been arrested.
Not yet...

12. ( ) Gone on a blind date.
Does online dating count?

13. (x) Lied to a friend.
Little white lies.

14. ( ) Skipped school.

15. ( ) Seen someone die.
Thank god, no.

16. (x) Been to Canada.
Oui, eh?

17. (x) Been to Mexico.

18. (x) Been on a plane.

19. ( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire.
Okay, who does this??

20. (x) Eaten sushi.

21. (x) Been skiing.
Only a few times, many years ago. On my last attempt, after about 15 falls in a short period of time, I got frustrated, took off my skis, and walked the rest of the way down the hill. A few minutes later, my friend Sherri got knocked down and her arm got mowed over by another skier, so that was the end of that.

22. (x) Met someone in person from the internet.

23. (x) Taken pain-killers.

24. (x) Love someone or miss someone right now.
Okay, who's going to say there's no one they love?

25. (x) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
Looove that.

26. (x) Made a snow angel.
Looove that.

27. ( ) Had a tea party.

28. (x) Flown a kite.
Not very well, though.

29. (x) Built a sand castle.
Not very well.

30. (x) Gone puddle jumping.

31. (x) Played dress up.
Every day, when I dress like an adult!

32. ( ) Cheated while playing a game.

33. (x) Been lonely.
Duh. Am I alive?

34. ( ) Fallen asleep at work/school.

35. ( ) Used a fake I.D.
Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes...

36. (x) Watched a sunset.

37. (x) Felt an earthquake.
Hello! I live in California!

38. (x) Touched a snake.

39. (x) Slept beneath the stars.
I'm not much of a camper, but when I was a kid, my friends and I would sometimes have slumber parties outside. Fun.

40. (x) Been tickled.

41. ( ) Been robbed.

42. (x) Been misunderstood.
All the time.

43. (x) Petted a reindeer/goat.
A goat. At a petting zoo.

44. (x) Won a contest.
I won a costume contest at work the year I dressed as Pat for Halloween. You know, the androgynous SNL character. I was apparently so good that two people I worked with INTRODUCED THEMSELVES TO ME, because they didn't recognize me.

45. ( ) Ran a red light.
I've come close, though.

46. ( ) Been suspended from school.

47. (x) Been in a car accident.
I was 18, and rear-ended an older woman who was stopped at a green light. Sucked.

48. (x) Had braces.
Luckily, no headgear. None of those annoying rubber bands, either.

49. (x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.
Hahahahahaha. Of course!

50. (x) Had deja vu.
Haven't I seen this question before?

51. (x) Danced in the moonlight.
On the beach in Mexico.

52. (x) Liked the way you looked.
Sometimes, yes.

53. ( ) Witnessed a crime.
Do traffic violations count? Or are we talking about the accidental shoplifting of coats??

54. (x) Questioned your heart.
All the time.

55. ( ) Been obsessed with post it notes.

56. (x) Squished barefoot through the mud.

57. (x) Been lost.

58. (x) Been to the opposite side of the country.
I was born on the opposite side of the country, and lived there until I was 9.

59. (x ) Swam in the ocean.
Hello, I live in California! Actually, I often forget that many people don't spend a lot of time around the ocean. When I was in Hawaii two years ago, it was really funny to watch people who hadn't, freaking out about the waves. I couldn't figure out what was going on at first...!

60. (x) Felt like dying.

61. (x) Cried yourself to sleep.

62. (x) Played cops and robbers.

63. ( ) Recently colored with crayons.
Not recently. I can't stay between the lines! (Does that surprise you?)

64. (x) Sung karaoke.
"Sung" is a relative term...

65. ( ) Paid for a meal with only coins.
Coffee, yes...

66. (x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
All. The. Time.

67. (x ) Laughed til some kind of beverage came out your nose.
Yes, and it hurts! But my friend Kim has a much better story about those pasta stars in soup coming out of a friend's nose.

68. (x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.

69. (x) Danced in the rain.

70. (x) Written a letter to Santa Claus.

71. (x) Been kissed under the mistletoe.

72. (x) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about.

73. (x) Blown bubbles.
We used to have bottles of bubbles in the newsroom, and we'd break 'em out to relieve stress. You'd be surprised how effective that was.

74. (x) Made a bonfire on the beach.
Many, many times. The smell of a beach bonfire is one of my favorite aromas. A hallmark of my youth.

75. ( ) Crashed a party.

76. (x) Gone roller-skating.
I've always been more of an ice skater, though. I wanted to be Dorothy Hamill when I was 12.

77. (x) Had a wish come true.

78. (x) Worn pearls.

79. ( ) Jumped off a bridge.

80. (x) Ate dog/cat food.
Once, just to see what it tasted like. Blech.

81. ( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them.
Who does this?? How can you love a complete stranger?

82. ( ) Kissed a mirror.

83. (x) Sang in the shower.

84. ( ) Had a dream that you married someone.
No, that was a real-life nightmare!

85. ( ) Glued your hand to something.
I've gotten my fingers stuck together, though.

86. ( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flagpole.
No one has triple-dog-dared me...

87. ( ) Kissed a fish.

88. ( ) Sat on a rooftop.

89. (x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.

90. (x) Done a one-handed cartwheel.

91. (x) Talked on the phone for more than six hours on one occasion.
To a boy, even.

92. (x) Stayed up all night.
Gets harder as I get older...

93. ( ) Didn't take a shower for a week.
I was about to say, "ewww..." and then I remembered that when I was in Spain, during my homestay in the little town of Talavera de la Reina, they were having a severe drought, and I COULDN'T take one for several days. Not a whole week, but it was close enough.

94. ( ) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.
I have had pineapple right out of the field in Hawaii, though.

95. ( ) Climbed a tree that had a tree house.

96. (x) Been told by a complete stranger that you're hot.

97. ( ) Ever had a one-night stand.
So not me, even though I often think I should, just to say I did.

98. (x) Ever missed someone so much it still hurts to think of them.

99. ( ) Ever loved someone that you knew wouldn't love you back.

100. (x) Ever been to a professional baseball, football, or hockey game in a stadium.

101. (x) Went hiking in the mountains.

102. ( ) Smoked a cigar.

103. (x) Had a crush on someone you worked with but never told them.

104. (x) Wished you had the chance to change your profession.
I think we all have that chance, often. I'm just not sure what else I want to do.

105. ( ) Ever cremated and kept the ashes of a pet you cared a lot about.

106. (x) Wished you could live your life over again beginning at age 21.
And then the feeling passes, because it wouldn't be right.

107. (x) Been baptized.
However, I am a lapsed Catholic. Was never confirmed.

108. (x) Rode a horse.

109. ( ) Sent flowers to someone you never met. No, but I got some once. I think they were for me, anyway. A few years ago, some roses were left on the front step of my apartment building, with a note addressed to "Cherry." Now, there's no one else in the building whose name is even close to that, and the note writer was clearly not sure if the intended recipient was single... and my ex's name was still on the mailbox. At any rate, the note writer left no clues to his (or her) identity (though I had a suspicion it was a guy I saw at the bus stop every morning, but how can you approach someone you've barely spoken to and say, "Hey, are you the one who left those flowers? Were they for me? If so, WHY DO YOU SAY SO LITTLE WHEN I TRY TO MAKE CONVERSATION WITH YOU HERE??"), so I have no idea who actually left them or who they were really for. I left them in the building lobby, and no one else claimed them. A mystery to this day!

At 30 December, 2005 22:32, Anonymous Joe Rogers said...

There's so many things that weren't on sungirl's list that I know would be on yours, if you had one of your own that only related to the joys of work.

I have now:

--Wiped up all sorts of disgusting spills & crumbs when I know I left that workstation immaculate when I left the previous afternoon. How do so many crumbs get behind the just 16 hours?! I don't want to know what leaks on the desk when I'm not there.

--Answered endless, and I mean endless, questions about food I have no relationship with as the seconds tick away on a deadline. No, Todd, I don't know what kind of soup it is, and, um, are you the one who decided to print the 420-page Environmental Impact Report on the Bay Meadows redevelopment at 1:02? Oh, Doug did that. Sorry. Has he filed his lede yet?

--Convinced people that if they could talk to me on the phone about it for 15 minutes, they could do it again a few hours from now for less than five minutes with someone named "Rebecca". No really. What you just said? Say it again in about 3 hours. That's it. Bye. No, gotta go. We'll call you. Uh-huh. Thanks again. Buh-bye.

P.S. Did you like your Xmas greeting? As soon as Angela heard yours, she demanded her own, and I felt compelled to bring La Fuega to Las Hondas--that's Mexican for bringing "The She-Fire" to "the airwaves".

A line is already forming for next year. Thanks for jump starting my career as the KCBS Christmas Greeting Producer. It's good to have something to fall back on if this journalism thing doesn't work out.

At 30 December, 2005 22:39, Blogger terry said...

omigod, joe, i think i just peed my pants, i'm laughing so hard...!! the behind the phone crumbs. what the fuck IS up with those??

i LOVED the christmas greeting. as ang said, we are so clearly underutilizing your talents. did you do one for yourself?


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