Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Maybe it just needs a little love...

I finally got a Christmas tree tonight, despite the nasty, rainy, cold weather.

It's a little one. Not exactly a Charlie Brown tree, but definitely a little cockeyed (like me) and not exactly the belle of the ball (like me). But it's so cute and smells so nice, I can't help but smile when I look at it.

It's the first tree I've gotten in years. Since my ex-husband and I split up in 1997, actually. See, I grew up with an artificial tree (a really good one, which my mom still has) so I never had a real Christmas tree until he and I moved in together. And over the years, we created our own holiday traditions surrounding the buying of the tree. We'd always go at night, then come home and listen to my favorite Christmas albums (Nat King Cole, Johnny Mathis, and of course, the music from "A Charlie Brown Christmas") while decorating the tree (and arguing about the placement of the lights). Then I'd make us some hot chocolate with Bailey's, and we'd sit and admire our handiwork. This was a nearly ten year tradition, so when we split, it was far too painful to contemplate doing any of this on my own. I couldn't even listen to those Christmas tunes for at least a year or two after the break-up.

Even when the hurt subsided, it seemed kinda silly to get a tree just for me. Christmas dinner was usually at someone else's house, and in recent years, I've spent several Christmases in Wisconsin, so it just seemed pointless.

Until now. I went at night. I had to go to the store to buy more lights, of course. I listened to those very same Christmas CDs, and when I was finished, I poured myself a nice glass of wine (I have no Bailey's!) and admired my handiwork. It's the very first tree I've decorated all on my own. And I don't feel the least bit sad about it.

At 18 December, 2005 13:41, Anonymous Jeannette said...

I'm proud of you sweetie. I like your new tradition of the glass of wine. We do eggnog with brandy. Every year we hand some out to the neighbors to slow them down during their outdoor decorating. It gives us a chance to catch up. Actually, it's a little eggnog with the brandy. HA!!

At 18 December, 2005 16:25, Blogger terry said...

sounds like my kinda eggnog, jeannette!
(and you know, i'd have gone with the bailey's and hot choc if i'd HAD any bailey's. lame..!)

At 18 December, 2005 18:44, Blogger Jon said...

Ya, it's definitely time for new traditions. I would gladly helped you down that bottle of wine. Or hot chocolate and pepermint schnapps.

My brother and I always decorated the outside of the house with lights while we where still living with the parents. I still do it to this day and I really enjoy doing it. I usually get grand ideas and give up on it, but if the weather holds out I try to do as much as I can.

Since our split in 2001 I have not had a girlfriend at Christmas except for a short period last year.

After my ex left doing the tree has been difficult for the past couple years I had this dinky little fake tree that had lights on it already. I threw on a few ornaments and called it good. I don't like too many decoration in the house. I think this is because the ex when WAY overboard with it. Every year gets better.

Everyone reacts differently to a divorce. I am sorry yours seemed to traumatize you to a certain extent. To me that means you love very deeply. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

At 18 December, 2005 23:59, Blogger terry said...

ooh, hot chocolate and peppermint schnapps! yum! a fabulous idea. when are you coming over with that??

and isn't it awful when the memories of a bad relationship end up tainting your holidays? glad to hear it's getting better every year.

and it's safe to say i was pretty traumatized...partly because we were together for 15 years, and mostly because of all of the deceit and betrayal. it made me re-think everything i thought was true, because it was so shocking.

hugs right back to ya, jon.

At 19 December, 2005 06:22, Blogger DZER said...

good for you, darlin'!

and yay for christmas!

and buy some bailey's .. it's a wonderful liqueur! LOL


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