Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

And then there are those times when being single's not such a bad thing...

I'm at the movies today, waiting for the film to start.
A youngish sounding couple sits behind me, and they're in the middle of an argument about her hair. Yes. HER HAIR.
Him: "No, you REALLY need to do something about that." He's very emphatic.
Her: "But I LIKE my hair short." (I'm thinking, yay! Stand up for what YOU want!)
Then she says, "Besides, you told me it was cute and punk rock." (oookay.)
Silence from him.
She repeats her last statement.
He mumbles something to the effect of, "Whatever."
Her: "Shut up, you asshole."

Ahh, I could just feel the love. Is there anything more sweet or endearing than calling your significant other an asshole? Not in a joking manner?
I thought he was the schmuck until she started wondering aloud why the theatre wasn't showing those annoying movie trivia quizzes and TV commercials you see before the movie (before the trailers, even) at every multiplex, just moments after I was thinking how nice it was not to be bombarded by that crap. "That's the BEST PART," she says. Ugh.

I have a talent for attracting morons to sit behind me in theatres. I must have some sort of idiot beacon on me. During the film ("Brokeback Mountain"), she gasped loudly at every plot development, then one of them kept fiddling with the noisiest cellophane ever made during key scenes. And she chewed whatever the fuck she was snacking on with her mouth open. There was lots of smacking involved. Kinda hard to lose yourself in a film when you've got Tweedledee and Tweedlefuck sitting behind you.

Also saw "Good Night, and Good Luck" today, and I think George Clooney has now vaulted to the top of my Celebrity Sleepover list. Smart. Talented. Funny. Politically outspoken. And sexy as hell.

Who else is on that list? Let's see. It's been in flux this year. For the first time in a decade, Brad Pitt's not on it. I know he's crushed. He and I had a long run, though, and those were good times. But the whole Angelina thing has been such a turn off, I had to take him out of the line-up. Stephen Colbert has a pretty high ranking in my book now. Dave Matthews remains on the list, as does Ricky Martin. (I know. I KNOW. He's kinda cheesy. But have you LOOKED AT HIM? Have you WATCHED HIM MOVE?? I have. A lot. This is why he's on the list. Plus, he was so nice to me when I ambushed him a few months ago. I can't help it.)
David Duchovny's another favorite. As is Ewan McGregor (I sat through "The Pillow Book" solely because he was in it. And not just because of the lengthy ((pun intended)) full-frontal nudity). Peter Krause. Tim Robbins. Chris Noth. Mark Ruffalo. Justin Timberlake. I'm thinking Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal deserve spots on my list, too. Yummy.

At 29 December, 2005 00:56, Blogger Jon said...

I think we should be able to TAZE people that talk in movies. I have a lady friend that won't shut up during a movie. How do I tell her to shut the fuck up without pissing her off.

At 29 December, 2005 01:33, Blogger terry said...

EXCELLENT idea, Jon... Luckily, these two clowns did most of their talking before the movie... but they still managed to annoy me.

And isn't it the worst when you're with someone who turns out to be a movie talker? How DO you handle that without smacking them?

At 29 December, 2005 11:58, Blogger Ailyn said...

Tweedledee and Tweedlefuck - hysterical!

Jon, just say "ssssssshhh!!!"
or kiss her hard, maybe that will stop her

At 29 December, 2005 16:14, Blogger terry said...

A, I almost wrote Tweedlefuck and Tweedletwat, but somehow that seemed so harsh...


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