It's the most... wonderf.... oh, shaddup!

Yeah, I'm not feeling so festive this holiday season.

This has been a very trying month. No, I can't really explain. Listen, everyone's having a tough time at work these days... and I'm glad I'm still employed, which is no small thing at this time, in my business.

Still...my life is entirely bipolar. The good stuff is really good. Great, in fact. I am unbelievably lucky and have had some big laughs this month. But the lows are really, really shitty and completely draining.

However, when I hit those lows (and I hit several sinkholes this week, highlighted by a moment in Whole Foods when I nearly burst into tears when it looked like they didn't have the Chocolate Decadence cake I was to take to Christmas dinner. yes, a little hormonal, on top of everything else!) I am doing all I can to remember that soon, there will be a high to counteract the low.

See, lucky. Not everyone has that. I get that. I do.

I've also been trying not to infect the festive people around me with my shitty attitude. Thankfully, I caught the key parts of "It's A Wonderful Life" on Christmas Eve, so I could have a much-needed weep session.

I'm just beyond ready to kiss this December goodbye. C'mon, 2009...