Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Thursday, May 17, 2007

If I could do the things I want to you, you'd be changing all your plans...

Good lord, she's amazing.

Joss Stone, that is. Talented. Gorgeous. Utterly charming on stage. And just 20 years old.

Yeah, I'm a little jealous. But I like her too much to hate her. And she put on an incredible show, even though she didn't do a full version of this. (You gotta love a girl who covers the White Stripes!)

So before her concert the other night, my "date" and I went to the Taint for a couple of pre-show cocktails. While I was waiting at the bar for the round I was buying, I noticed some random guy eyeing me.

He suddenly says, "Is your name Terry?"

Uh, yes, I reply... puzzled. Do I know this guy?

"Smith?"* he asks.

Uh... yeah. Now I'm even more puzzled. I don't know who this guy is.

Until he said his name.

Turns out he's someone I knew in college. He was the lech, the Guy Who Hits On Everyone Who Has A Vagina. But he was a good person to know, because he was already working in our field, and knew a lot of people. It was easy enough to ignore his advances then because I had a boyfriend (yeah, the ex-hub).

I'm still stunned he remembered me, and even recognized me. He said my laugh was familiar. Oookay.

"Is it still Smith?" he asks.

And then I realize he's still a lech, 20 years later**, because he's trying to figure out whether I'm married.

Instead of just saying yes, I say, "It's always been Smith... even when I was married."***

Apparently, I am too prideful not to tell this bozo that yes, I was married once. I SHOULD have challenged him about why he was asking.

Instead, we engaged in some small talk about what we're each doing career-wise (and I was more than a little surprised to find that he knew where I worked until last summer). Turns out he works in the same 'hood as I do, and, of course, he thinks we should get together sometime!

Yeah. Great. I'll be working very hard to make that happen.

See, this is the type of guy who typically approaches me. I catch other guys checking me out from time to time, but they don't approach. But the guys who hit on all women? Yeah, they'll make an effort.

There are few things that make me feel more like a leper.

*clever pseudonym, eh?

**it struck me as i wrote this that i was dealing with this particular lech around the same time ms. stone was born. holy moly...

***i kept my name for many reasons. his name was ridiculous. it didn't flow well with mine, and you have to spell it for everyone. i'd been a "smith" for 26 years before i got married, and i didn't feel like giving up my identity to take an unpronounceable name (not that i judge other women who DO change their names; this is all about me). and finally, i kept my name to honor my father. i feel like that's a tangible reminder of him.

At 17 May, 2007 23:22, Blogger Laura said...

well, i was not even alive when she was born!
haha, oh, that probably makes u feel older....
yeah i love joss stone. I think i also like how tall she is, since I am tall. she is gorgeous, but that tacky red hair...has GOT TO GO!

At 17 May, 2007 23:25, Blogger Laura said...

please dont tell me you are gonna be on vacation june 16th....that is my graduation party.

At 18 May, 2007 00:15, Blogger Reg said...

It's so nice to know that I'm not swimming in the shallow end of the dating pool by myself. It frickin' sucks doesn't it? Don't feel too leper-like. You're in fabulous company and we gals gotta stick together and keep reminding each other and ourselves that there is better out there waiting for us. I just wish he were waiting around the corner and I'm going to run smack0dab into him tomorrow!

At 18 May, 2007 03:12, Blogger The Savage said...

lets see... I think you are intimidatingly hot.... thats the only reason you aren't approached.. I'd approach ya you sexy type person you....

At 18 May, 2007 05:47, Blogger Blondie said...

The only men who hit on me are the ones that want a dollar or a cigarette on the street. Bwah ha ha ha ha! :)

At 18 May, 2007 11:33, Blogger Queen of Cheese said...

was it Gary?

At 18 May, 2007 14:16, Blogger terry said...

oh yeah laura... THANKS FOR THAT!! remember, i remember your babyhood.

i kinda like her red hair. it was dark brown the other night, though.
and i will be at your grad party! hooray!

reg, thanks for that. i like your attitude. most of the time, i don't even think about it anymore because it's just sad.

savage, honey, you are so sweet... but that is SOO not true, about me being intimidatingly hot. seriously.

blondie, i get those too!

cheese... hahahahahaahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAAHA. no, it wasn't. i would have recognized him.
and he wasn't leching on me in college.

At 18 May, 2007 18:01, Blogger Heidi the Hick said...

I agree Terry- Joss Stone is INCREDIBLE. I even liked her before she and I ended up with the same hair colour!!!

And yeah, you know how I feel about the White Stripes so of course, covering that song was brilliant.

As for names...I did the hyphenation thing for a few years and got really sick of it. I didn't want to give up the surname I was given at birth though. It's another middle name now. But me...I had a difficult last name and now I have a nice little anglo sounding name so it was an easy decision!

At 19 May, 2007 09:29, Blogger terry said...

heidi, you should check out the new issue of entertainment weekly -- there's a story in it about the stripes...

hyphenating can be a big pain. i thought about that, but it sounded even weirder than his surname alone. and considering the way that marriage turned out, i'm REALLY glad i kept my name!


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