Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Friday, September 29, 2006

Just another random Friday...

I might have to make this a weekly tradition...

  • Why do avocadoes turn brown so quickly after they're cut open? What evolutionary purpose does that serve, except to make me not want to eat my guacamole the day after I've made it? It's still good. It LOOKS gross, though. (I know. Lemon juice. I use it. And lime juice. Still. There's no way to keep it green long enough!)

  • Same with bananas. Why is there just a one, maybe two-day window when I can eat them? I like them lightly spotted. Let them go one day more, and they're revolting. And don't even get me started on GREEN bananas. EEEEUWWW!

  • Should I be embarrassed to admit that I somehow ended up buying the top two albums on last week's Billboard 100 chart? No. You know what? I'm not embarrassed. I didn't buy them because I thought they'd be popular. I bought them because I like the artists. And I like these CDs, too! I'll let you research what those were yourselves.

  • Who's the brainiac at the Gap/Old Navy who thinks it's a good idea to run their commercials so much you want to kill yourself? That fucking Audrey Hepburn-AC/DC spot is KILLING ME! It was cute at first. It was. Now... GAH! "If a girl wants to dance... a girl wants to dance." SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE, HONEY. I'm afraid I'll never be able to listen to "Back in Black" ever again. Thanks, asshats.

  • What's the deal with "Deal Or No Deal?" Why is this show a hit? I accidentally caught a bit of it last week. Not only did it not make sense -- you DON'T want the large dollar figures? -- it was STOOOPID.

  • Is there anything cuter than two little girls waving at you from those backwards-facing seats in a station wagon, as you drive behind them? I think not.

  • Happiness is: putting on a jacket you haven't worn in a week or two and finding about 20 bucks scattered through the pockets. It's been a LONG time since I didn't have to account for every single dollar.

  • It's also coming home, weary and sickly on a Friday afternoon, and finding the latest Dave Matthews Band Live CD in your mailbox. You know that song that I've been obsessed with? It's on there! Which is why I got it! And it's DIFFERENT from the version they played here, and even different from the version I keep posting here. God, I love that. I love them. I had a huge grin on my face a few moments after popping in the CD, even while putting away groceries and doing other chores.

  • Tomorrow night, I'm off to Berkeley to see another favorite band of mine, Guster. Don't say you don't know who they are. You do. You've heard them. You just don't know you've heard them. They do this song, and this one...both of which got a fair amount of airplay a few years back. They're SO much better live than they are on CD. And not only are they talented, they're fucking hilarious. Love them!

Happy Friday!

At 29 September, 2006 21:07, Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

1) Oxydation. High amounts of starches turning into sugars. Provides energy for that big ol' pit to start growing. On my blog there's a pretty good recipe for guac. I will cover the guacamole with a layer of sour cream. Keeps the oxygen out, so it doesn't turn brown. And it tastes good too.

2) I'm with you on the bananas. The timing's got to be right with them. Besides, I can't take them in my lunch. They make my baloney sandwich taste funny.

3) Ummm...if this week's one and two are last weeks as well...I dunno. I mean, if you like them you like them, but sheesh. Personally, I'd rather eat a brown banana than listen to either of them, but that's just me.

4) "BiB" will forevermore be synonymous with Lewis Black. No amount of After Effects prestidigitation will change that in my mind. But yeah, it's tiresome.

5) In college, I wrote a treatment for a game show called 'You Can't Win!' and argued the point that, even though the rules clearly stated that it was impossible to win, the show would still get contestants, simply because it was on TV. The teacher thought the concept was 'ludicrous.' I now think it was just ahead of its time.

6) Two toddlers sitting in a laundry basket with underwear on their head. Just a guess

7)Can I borrow your jacket?

8)This goes a long way in making up for #3.

9)This goes the rest of the way. Guster is in heavy rotation on my itunes right now. Especially 'One man wrecking machine,' 'Homecoming King,' and 'Come Downstairs and Say Hello.'

Have a great weekend!


At 29 September, 2006 21:28, Blogger terry said...

pirate... you are SO cracking me up....

1. sour cream on my guac! to PROTECT it! i love that idea. and i'll try it.

2. yeah yeah, bananas seem to touch everything around them. wtf? and suddenly, i'm craving a baloney sandwich...

3. this week's 1 is the same... but #2 is different (at least as listed in entertainment weekly. think john mayer, not clay aiken. i can't help the justin sorry. he's bringing sexy back, you know.)

4. yeah, lewis black.. but every five seconds.. fucking gap skinny pants!!

5. i think you're right about the game show. you coulda been a millionaire...

6. i need photographic proof that the toddlers described are cuter than my little friends. it was such a sweet moment, it almost hurt.

7. sure, as long as i don't need the jacket.

(omiGOD the gap commercial is on right now!!! someone shoot me!!!)

8. whew. and my GOD, the new live cd is AWESOME. i really can't explain why it's making me so happy tonight. SO, so, good. so good.

9. go download guster's "lost and gone forever." i LOVE that cd. "center of attention" and "i spy" are my faves. and then go see them in concert. that's actually how my friend ellie and i came to love them -- they were opening for barenaked ladies one year, and blew us away. now we see them every time they're in town.

even their website's funny. you gotta check out the road blog...

i am such a dork.

At 29 September, 2006 22:04, Blogger The Missouri Savage said...

Well the mighty Ballon Pirate beat me to the knowitallistic oxidation factor.....
And I can honestly say I had never heard of Guster.... until I clicked the links you provided there.... yep.. never heard of em before

At 30 September, 2006 04:53, Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

Isoamyl acetate (C17H14O2), commonly known as 'banana oil'is the culprit. Its smell is easily detected in very small amounts, and is quite soluble in most organic compounds. Bread, with its cellulose structure and fluffy texture, is a natural absorbant of this oil.

In other words, the bread soaks up the smell like a sponge.

You may be Queen of the Dorks, but I'm a nerd. I can't be King of the Nerds, because nerds eschew traditional heirarchical structures.


At 30 September, 2006 09:22, Blogger nomadshan said...

I like to think that avocados and bananas are just good excuses to enjoy the moment. When you're eating one, you should just relish how yummy it is on your tongue, and not think about tomorrow.

Have fun at Guster! We saw them when they opened for Barenaked Ladies years back - awesome.

At 30 September, 2006 09:29, Blogger terry said...

pirate, you are too funny. and i learn so much from you!

nomadshan, that's how we found guster too! at a bnl show! and i like your approach to the ephemeral foods...

At 01 October, 2006 17:23, Blogger JMai said...

I have to admit, I like my nanas on the greenish side. NO brown spots for me, thanks!

At 01 October, 2006 19:08, Blogger terry said...

jmai, my mom loves them green, too... so we were a good team. she'd eat them right after we'd bring them home from the store, and i'd get them a few days later.

At 02 October, 2006 10:35, Blogger SignGurl said...

Green bananas for me too, sorry.

I found Guster by accident too while downloading music. I love them although they were never in rotation in this area except on college radio.


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