Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Thursday, April 06, 2006

My cleavage is uneven...


So, you remember those cool new bras I was going on and on about not long ago?

Still loving them. But I'm wearing one today, with a new top that didn't seem quite as low-cut when I bought it as it does now (ummm YIKES, maybe it was not the best choice for work) ... and I can't help but notice a certain asymmetry in my cleavage.


How the hell do I fix this?? I've made plenty of boob adjustments today (and boy, it's a good thing there are no video cameras in the ladies room at work)... and still. Uneven. It looked a little like an earthquake fault on my chest.

So gravity is apparently not my only problem in the boobal area. Great.
I know. All women have slight variations in boob size. But I've never noticed uneven cleavage on anyone else before.

Also? You men crack me up. I couldn't help noticing how many fellas took note of the ta-tas today. The dude working the grocery store cash register NEXT to the one I was at even started chatting me up. That doesn't seem to happen when the girls are undercover...

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At 06 April, 2006 19:35, Blogger DZER said...

why are women always so constantly surprised that men love to see cleavage? On behalf of the men in the bay area, thank you for sharing!! LOL

 
At 06 April, 2006 19:39, Blogger Chelle said...

LOL you got it...flaunt it, girl!!!

 
At 06 April, 2006 20:41, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok mama...at least you HAVE cleavage! i have none...zip...nada. i mean, don't get me wrong, i love my boobs...but they don't do cleavage so asymmetry doesn't seem like such a bummer thing.

 
At 06 April, 2006 20:42, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oops. that damn anonymous thing was me...kim. of course, since i called you "mama"...i guess you probably figured it out. :-)

 
At 06 April, 2006 21:13, Blogger sassinak said...

well is it only in that one bra? or that one shirt?

also? i have a shirt like that, when i bought it it was kinda low and now it's like almost obscene. so it's gone from work to date *grin*

enjoy the attention right?

 
At 07 April, 2006 04:55, Blogger Madame X said...

OK, my boobs POINT in different directions...explain THAT!

I look like one of those cars with one headlight pointed at the road and the other one all crazy pointed out at the side!

 
At 07 April, 2006 09:58, Blogger terry said...

dzer, i wasn't really surprised... but amused. especially by how blatant you guys are! and i just don't get this kind of attention very often, so it was a little weird. i felt very exposed.

chelle and anonymous kimmy, you know... i only really have cleavage when i'm all strapped up! when flying free... well... there's evidence that gravity and genetics have caught up with me. and no cleavage.

and kimmy, no one's told ME i have the boobs of a 20something.... ;)

sass, it must be a combination of me AND these super-hoisty bras. instead of "lifting and separating," they hoist and shove everything together, to create the appearance of cleavage. since it's unnatural (for me, anyway)... it's not quite right. and i only noticed it with the low-cut top.

i like your idea of turning the obscene top into date attire..! then again, i'd have to have a date to make that work...*sigh.

madame, i suppose i should be happy that mine are at least pointing in the same general direction. i just wish it wasn't south!

 
At 07 April, 2006 18:58, Blogger cadbury_vw said...

and

your point is?

(all said in the most tasteful of meandering gaze kinds of ways... that looks in a different direction when caught, as though not looking exactly there at all...)

 
At 07 April, 2006 20:50, Blogger terry said...

LOL, cadbury...

 
At 10 April, 2006 13:58, Blogger cadbury_vw said...

BTW,

your topic of discussion does make my mind wnader back to the Girls Gone Wild discussion of the other day

how, i will leave to your imagination...

 
At 10 April, 2006 14:01, Blogger terry said...

well, it IS sort of related....

but i highly doubt anyone would try to coerce me to flash 'em for any camera!

 

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