Food coma...

I think I'm in one.

I finally dragged my sorry ass out of the house last night to have dinner with my friend Cindy's brother Michael and his fiancee Janet (she of the champagne-bottle-hoarding at the wedding we went to in January), who are spending the weekend playing tourist here in SF. And I had this ginormous slab of prime rib, about half of which is in my fridge right now.

I was so full I conked out on the couch about a half hour after I got home. Woo hoo! What a partier.

Okay, another dangerous thing about being home with too much time on your hands? The Food Network. It's an excellent time killer, but also makes you want to run out and grocery shop so you can make some of the meals you're seeing on TV. Because Giada de Laurentis makes it looks so easy. I'll let you know how THAT goes.

There's also some crap-ass show I caught in which the host throws together a bunch of pre-made food to make it look like you cooked it yourself. Um... she made "tapas" yesterday and it all looked revolting. I ain't never seen no tapas consisting of cole slaw on potato chips topped with pork rib meat that had been slathered with bottled chili sauce. EEEEUW. I'm too lazy to look up the name of the show, but it was something like Partly Homemade, or The Cocktails Are Necessary to Stomach this Shit.

Tonight, once I've taken all my cough-supressing, headache-reducing drugs, Miss Cheese and I are getting all dolled up to attend a big fancy Oscar party. We got to go last year too, and it was so much fun we were thrilled to be invited again. It's a big AIDS benefit, with lots of free food and wine and really friendly people. Yeah, mostly gay men, but that's why it was so much fun.
And there was this food station there last year where we got fed like baby birds. Seriously. You approach, and they put the food in your mouth, sliding it off some large leafy thing (I think). It's a little weird and slightly obscene, but the food was amazing so we went back for seconds.

So tonight, we will be Hollywood starlets, at least in our own minds. And I'll be taping the show so I can catch all of Jon Stewart's brilliance.