Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Saturday, February 11, 2006


Ever watch a train wreck? Or, more accurately, watch a misunderstanding in which you played a small but key role slowly (and bafflingly) snowball into something big and messy and hurtful to several people?

Yeah. Now I have.

Then I called my mom to wish her a happy birthday, and we both ended up in tears. Neither of us is speaking to my brother right now, as he's done something utterly heinous and unforgivable. That's a topic for a whole other post. Anyway. The waterworks started when she said it upset her to know that when "she's gone" (a subject that makes me want to plug my ears and sing "lalalalala, can't hear you!") that I won't have any close family to count on. I tell her I've known for years that I can't count on him, ever, and that I have other people in my life that I CAN count on (thank god).

But it's notable that she's touched on one of my big fears. Not only do I not want to even think about life after "she's gone," I worry that I will be alone for the rest of my life. That I'll be one of those older crazy ladies you see talking to anyone and everyone because she has no one else to talk to.

Then, Miss Sassyhair and I went to the theatre last night, to see Berkeley Rep's "Nine Parts of Desire," which is about women in Iraq. It was an amazing piece of solo theatre work, with one actress portraying nine very different people. And oh-so-cheery for a Friday night. I don't think we've ever been so quiet leaving a theatre, ever.

My horoscope didn't warn me that yesterday would be such an emotionally draining day.

But today, I'm listening to the Foo Fighters and U2, the sun is out, and I will be out walking in it soon.
And then I think I'll be making myself a cocktail or four.

At 11 February, 2006 12:12, Anonymous Jeannette said...

Hey, sweetie,

You can count us. We're here for you. Got that? I completely understand where you're coming from with the widowed mother thing and her passing that is unfortunately inevitable. I get it. There are days when I would get so mad becuase my life wasn't supposed to be this way. I was supposed to have a dad, but that's not how it happened.

But I'm with you now. I'm right there with you AND so is Joe and our kids. You will never be alone.

Didn't you're 1/17th post say, "Kimmy, Dorky, Julie and Guppy celebrate Macaroni Season on Splash Mountain at the Magic Kingdom"? You've got TONS of people who love you and just to piss you off may never leave you alone. HA!

We love you and always will,

Jeannette... and Joe and Joey and ...

At 11 February, 2006 12:25, Blogger terry said...

oh, jeannette... here come the tears again.
in a good way.
thank you for your very sweet note.
i love you all too.

At 12 February, 2006 09:38, Blogger Jon said...

Hey babe... You are so sweet. Believe me I know it is rough. My mom is about to move to Michigan. I can't believe it.

I have known so many people that had totally disfunctional families. My family is totally functional. I feel lucky about that. Savor your time with mom, and welcome your friends (local and long distance) into your heart, which I know you already do.

I wish I could give you a big hug... and join you for those cosmos.

PS - Thanks for drunk chatting with me last night. I really enjoyed it.

At 12 February, 2006 11:34, Blogger Queen of Cheese said...

People will never leave you alone.


And sometimes our real brothers and sisters just happen to have different dna, capische?


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