Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Monday, July 31, 2006

Paging Stacy and Clinton...

I've been doing some clothes shopping of late. Since I'm about to start a new job, I feel the need to class things up a bit. I'm still working in a casual atmosphere, but since I'm coming in as a manager (!), I'm thinking fewer jeans (unless they're the very black ones that can pass for real trousers) and sequins, and maybe some more professional attire. Even some suity-type clothes are probably in order.

But this is a challenge with a teeny budget and a not-so-teeny ass. It's a challenge when you're at least one and usually two sizes smaller on top than on the bottom... and when your waist is much smaller than your hips. I can't tell you how many pairs of "nicer" pants I tried on this weekend that didn't even come close to fitting -- you know, the waistband is nowhere near your waist, but hangs very low on your ass. Unintentional low-rise pants. Uh, NO.

I tried on a suit that was on sale for $60, in a really cute color and fabric... and not only was the jacket too big, but the skirt was waaaaay too long. A totally unflattering length. Yeah, I could have had it altered, and if I'd really loved it, I might have, but that sort of defeats the point of the $60 price tag... (See, it's going to be a month before I get a paycheck with my new salary, so I'm still pinching pennies for now.)

Shoes are challenging, too, because I have big feet. It's hard to find size 11 shoes, especially if you're hoping to find them at a good price at a discount joint or outlet store.

And it doesn't help that every time I try something on, I have Stacy and Clinton in my head, telling me What Not to Wear! If they're going to do that, the least they could do is come help me. And bring me a $5000 Visa card with my name on it...

*However, I did find a great leather jacket yesterday. I've been searching for years for one that I liked and could afford, so that makes me very happy. Even though I was trying it on in 90 degree heat...

At 31 July, 2006 09:45, Blogger Natalia said...

Ummmm....the other day I went to Target with my mum and she kept pointing out cute shoes. And granted they are cute but even $25 seemw too much topay when I buy brand names at Ross for half that. I have become bargain spoiled. And being a plus size woman, I have less options, although more than in a lot of countries. I digress. I have a friend that has the same issue as you as far as her body needing different sizes. If your last name was Trump, I'd say go to someone to make your clothing to your exact meassurements. Coming back to reality, though, maybe that an idea for a new they have big and tall? But for people who need special sizes. OK, maybe not. I guess the answer is to try on as much as possible and see what brands fit you better? Hmmm I am no help... *skulks away*


At 31 July, 2006 09:51, Blogger terry said...

nat, no need to skulk away! i love your store idea. i know many women who have similar issues, particularly with the one size on top, different size on bottom problem... so that'd be a gold mine.

when i start getting paid more, i'll be able to afford higher-quality clothes (and shoes!) AND alterations, so that'll work. it's just a challenge to find more appropriate stuff right now.

this is partly how i ended up with so many pairs of (dark wash) jeans in my wardrobe -- there's one style in one store that fits me really well, so there ya go.

At 31 July, 2006 10:36, Blogger Natalia said...

I have been known to skulk :)


At 31 July, 2006 17:15, Blogger terry said...

as long as you're not skulking angrily....

At 31 July, 2006 18:07, Blogger the shrewness said...

i feel your pain about the shoes. ive actually accepted the fact that with my shoe size (10 1/2), if i really wanted the good stuff, i have to pay retail.

im tempted to write to stacy and clinton just so i could have the 5k to spend on a new wardrobe!

good luck and ill be waiting for shoe pictures! :)

At 31 July, 2006 18:55, Blogger JMai said...

Who are Stacy and Clinton?

I love suity-type clothes. They're very flattering. I don't have the different sizes problem, I just have a find-something-cute-in-my-size problem. Not sure which is worse?

The good news is, you have plenty of time to shop at your leisure (even if not plenty of money). Try some upscale consignment shops -- affordable AND lots of those clothes have been altered ...possibly by someone with a similar body type to yours! You might luck out!

I'm still so excited for you! Manager!!

At 31 July, 2006 19:21, Blogger buddha_girl said...

I SO want to be on What Not To Wear.

If they ever bamboozle me in public I will throw my arms around both Stacy and Clinton and pledge to toss EVERYTHING for the almightly Visa card!

Keep on trucking with the shopping. I'm with Nat...find what works...suck up the prices if ya have to. I've found my greatest finds online...AFTER having tried their clothing more than once.

Good luck! Let's see some pics!

At 31 July, 2006 21:17, Blogger Queen of Cheese said...

Hi Terry!

you look nice in everything!

I miss you. That's why i signed in, because i needed to tell you that.

But I might as well take the opportunity to remind you of your affinity for wintery colors.

At 31 July, 2006 21:43, Blogger terry said...

shrew, could you imagine? $5000?? would be so cool. and i find them so entertaining, too.
and yeah, i think i'm going to have to bite the retail bullet -- once i can -- and get some nicer shoes then.

jmai, stacy and clinton host the TLC show "what not to wear." they're stylists, and they manage to make everyone -- of every shape and size -- look better. and they're fricking hilarious, too. it's a great show.
i gotta say, i haven't had much luck with consignment shops in the past -- not enough stuff in my very odd sizes....

buddhagirl, i would LOVE for stacy and clinton to ambush me.
and yeah, i'll suck up the prices.. once i can afford to. i can't right now.
and another purchase on my new-salary-list is a digital camera, so i CAN post some pics...!

awww, cheese... i miss you too! i do. maybe i need you to be my fashion stylist, since you're always so well put-together....even at 5am...

At 01 August, 2006 06:56, Blogger DZER said...

one of the best things about being male:

2 jackets

3 pairs of pants

4 shirts

3 ties

2 pairs of shoes

... totally set ... heh

At 01 August, 2006 09:08, Blogger terry said...

and dzer, not only is all of that cheaper than the equivalent in women's clothing... it's cheaper to dry clean, too!

it's so wrong. SO wrong.

At 01 August, 2006 10:39, Blogger Queen of Cheese said...

It might be cheaper, but not anywhere near as much fun.

When is the last time you saw someone other than David Bowie or Dave Navarro wear sparkles???

do boys get to wear false eyelashes to parties and events?

Not saying boys can't wear sequins and make up ... but you have to admit, its much much easier for a lady to get away with such things.

AND! we can choose between pants AND skirts!

all you got are kilts and those lame skirts they tried to sell to club boys back in the day.

Variety over convenience!

At 01 August, 2006 18:35, Blogger terry said...

miss cheese, as always... you are absolutely right.

i mean, now that i know how to apply false eyelashes properly... uh... sorta... i'd hate to give that up...!

At 01 August, 2006 18:49, Blogger Chrissie said...

LOL false eyelashes... really?


My Mom is built like that, smaller on top and she calls it the "punkin butt" LOL small waist big hips... She likes Ralph Lauren and Liz Claiborn... She says they are the only ones who make pants correctly.

At 01 August, 2006 18:59, Blogger terry said...

yeah, chrissie, miss cheese and i got our makeup done at the MAC store for a big special event earlier this year, and got a great lesson in false eyelash application.

they looked SO cool.

and then we did it ourselves for a wedding, and thank god she was able to fix the one i couldn't get on straight!

punkin butt..! funny. i've never tried any ralph lauren, but i do like some liz claiborne stuff. i just didn't see much of anything at the claiborne store that wasn't frumpy.

i may have a punkin butt, but i'll do all i can to avoid making myself look frumpy!!


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