Ow ow OW OW fucking OW!!

• No, I didn't hurt myself in New York (aside from a couple of hangovers. And the sore feet from all the walking). Details on my trip in my next post. Promise.

• What I'm talking about is the latest challenge in hula: hula noho, or "seated" hula.

• Except we're not really sitting.

We are on the ground, with our legs under us, like these kids are:

(Luckily, we are not wielding sticks in the dance we're learning. Otherwise, I might have to beat myself about the head to assuage my pain.)

• 
  Looks easy, for these kids, no? It probably WAS easy when I was a kid. And it might be an easy position for you to maintain. But for those of us over 40 who are not in the best shape, it's a challenge just to get into that position. (I am somewhat comforted that even the younger folk in class are complaining, as are those who are in good shape.)
• 
  
• I thought it was going to be murder on my knees; it's my feet that are suffering. They cramp up at first, because we have to lay the TOPS of our feet flat on the ground. While putting all our weight on our shins and feet. And sitting up straight. Try that, right now. Ow, right? If not, I hate you. Srsly.

So, once we're in position, we have to, of course, dance, moving our hips -- sometimes rapidly -- and everything. AND CHANT. AND HARMONIZE. And somehow, find the time to breathe in between all the dancing and chanting and suffering. (I tried to find a video on YouTube of someone else doing this, just so you could get a taste, but no luck.)

Oh, and there's even a proper way to get down on the ground, and a correct way to get up again. You know, gracefully, without a face plant. While the lower half of your legs are numb.

This is easily the hardest thing I've ever had to do in any dance class, bar none. And if I ever get it right, I'm going to be so proud of myself. Until then, that whimpering you hear every Monday and Thursday night is me...