Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Notes from a Dorky road trip...

Worst traffic jam:
Los Angeles, of course. As usual, I had incredible timing, and hit the L.A. basin at the height of the evening commute last Monday, then spent 45 minutes going about ten miles on the 405 (aren't you impressed that even though I no longer live in SoCal, I know you're supposed to put a "the" in front of every freeway number? the 101. the 5. the 210. the silliness.). This, as people were waiting for me just a few miles away so we could go out to dinner. It ended up taking me more than seven hours just to get to Kimmy's house in L.A., a drive that should have taken 5 1/2 or 6 hours at most. Good thing I wasn't continuing on to San Diego that night, or I'd have had to hurt someone.

Best tunes to distract me from the hideousness of the L.A. traffic:
Duran Duran, Green Day, and of course, the Dave Matthews Band. The three-disc live CD set from last year's free Golden Gate Park concert. I like to pretend I can hear myself cheering, since I was there.

Most surprising traffic jam:
The big slowdown I hit in San Clemente (southern Orange county, very early on the drive) yesterday, where there's NEVER a tie-up...but it's not every day you see seven cars smashed up by the side of the road, either. That also wins the prize for Most troubling sight.

Most annoying traffic jam:
The Bay Bridge mess last night. See, it's the eastbound deck that's supposed to be tied up during the evening commute... not the westbound deck. It's really special, after about 7 1/2 hours on the road, to be about 25 minutes from home, stuck in unexpectedly heavy traffic...just sitting there... yearning to be home...

Best music to distract me from Bay Area traffic ick:
Barenaked Ladies, and, of course, Dave.

Oddest musical moment:
Hearing Journey's "Lights" on the radio while stopped on the freeway in L.A. Since the song talks about SF and all. (Okay, it struck ME as odd.)

Weirdest sign:
"JAMDAT." This, on a tall building in L.A. WTF?? There's a company by that name? What IS it?

Most annoying sign:
The one saying the bathroom at a rest stop in the Central Valley was closed for cleaning. The sign directed users to the other women's bathroom...WHICH WAS CLOSED AT THE SAME TIME FOR CLEANING!! Again, WTF?? And of course, the cleaning crew was composed of...MEN. Here's a tip for you men: do NOT get between a woman with a full bladder and a bathroom.

Most boneheaded move on my part:
Putting my hair up yesterday in a clip that I'd cleverly placed in about the same spot as the headrest hits my head. Oh-so-comfortable. I spent much of the drive adjusting and readjusting. And adjusting some more.

Most boneheaded move, narrowly averted:
While on my way to SoCal, I nearly took the northbound freeway ramp after a stop for coffee. It's not like you can just go up to the next exit and easily turn around, since the next exit is, oh, about 45 miles away.

Prettiest sight:
Sunset on the Grapevine last Monday evening. It was all orange and red and purple. Really quite spectacular. And I nearly drove off the road trying to take a picture of it at 65 mph.

Best road food:
In-N-Out Burger. You have no idea how happy I was when they opened one in the middle of the Central Valley, almost smack-dab in the middle of the route between Here and There.

Most annoying driver:
Random Braking Man, who, on the Altamont Pass (east of SF), kept hitting his brakes for no apparent reason. Maybe he was hallucinating. Maybe he should have gotten the hell off the road.

Biggest disappointment:
The rain in the Bay Area last night. I'd been hoping that the rain would be heaviest while I was on the freeway, so it would wash off some of the road gunk my car collected. You know, like a free car wash! Heavy rain + high speed = good enough for now. All it did was rain enough to make a paste of the bug guts and carcasses on my windshield. The hardest rain came as soon as I got into the city, just in time for me to get soaked while unloading my car.

Number of bugs that committed suicide on my car:
Uh, maybe a million or so? Seriously. My car was covered, especially on the southbound trip, when it was really warm. I cleaned the windshield when I stopped to get gas, and I swear, it was covered again about five minutes later. What, was I driving through a veil of bugs?

Worst "back to reality" moments today:
A tie: the alarm going off this morning; and spending 35 minutes this afternoon trying to get my flippin' mail from the goddamned post office.

More on the vacation itself in a future post...

At 30 November, 2005 08:52, Blogger Michael B said...

straight and out rocks...wherever!


Post a Comment

<< Home