Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


I hate the post office.
Well, not the entire institution. MY post office.
Every time I go there, there's a ginormous line, and only two people staffing the counter. So the simple act of picking up a package (which is why I was there yesterday), becomes a major time-sucking ordeal. And of course, once I got my package, the postal worker who retrieved it THEN asked if anyone else was there to pick up a package, allowing THEM to skip the line. Thanks. Thanks a whole lot.

My post office also has the unique talent of "misplacing" my mail whenever I need to put it on vacation hold. I'll show up after a week away, and all they'll have for me is some crap-ass bulk mailers, when I know damned well I'm missing several magazines, and of course, the ubiquitous bills (my wireless provider alone sends me 500 bills a week. or so it seems). It usually takes a good week -- sometimes longer -- for all of my mail to trickle in to my home mailbox.

Once, several years ago, my mail carrier suddenly decided that there was something wrong with the mailboxes for my apartment building, and just stopped delivering our mail. Without telling us. Once we figured out what was going on, we all had to trek over to the post office, every day to get our mail, while the post office and our building managers argued about who had to fix the mailboxes (which didn't seem broken in the first place).
And every day, without fail, they would tell me they had nothing for me. Bullshit, I thought...but I also thought that it might be a federal crime to curse at a postal worker, so I was much more tempered in my response. After about a week of this, I asked to speak to a manager, and explained that there was no way on God's green earth that I could have no mail for a solid week, so she finally did a little digging.
You know where my mail was? THE VACATION HOLD SECTION!!!

So after my delightful jaunt to hell yesterday, I did a little laundry. Guess what I heard at the laundromat? CHRISTMAS MUSIC! Yes, our local, treacly "lite* rock, less talk" station is already playing Christmas music, 24-7. It's wrong. Wrong. WRONG.
And what's worse is I now have a Christmas carol stuck in my head. On November 15th. It's going to be a loooong holiday season for me...

*i hate that kind of spelling. lite. nite. krazy. aagh. they didn't call me terry dictionary for nothin'.