Dork-o-Rama: The Random Thoughts of a Total Goofball

Embracing the Dork Side....Because Life is Too Short to Take Yourself Too Seriously

Friday, November 04, 2005

It's the humility, stupid...

I'm not very good at asking for help. Not at work, and not in my personal life.

Somewhere along the line, I got it into my head that it's a sign of weakness if I need to ask someone to help me with something (though I don't think that other people are weak when they ask ME for help....). Plus, there's an element of childish ego at play, as in "I can do it all by myself!" Still. At the age of 41.

And when someone DOES help me, even with the smallest of tasks, there's a part of me that feels shame, like I shouldn't have needed any help. Truly, it's difficult for me.

So my recent financial crisis has been a real learning experience. Not only did I have to come right out and ask for help (thanks, Mom!), I allowed myself to accept help from friends who offered it. And I don't think I can properly express how touched I am. It may sound silly, but it's really warmed my heart. The cups of coffee. The cocktails. The offers of cash, from those I know are just as strapped as I am. The gift certificate for a mani/pedi. The brainstorming. And especially the listening and commiserating.

There are so many times I feel like I'm completely alone in this world, but I know now that I am not. I have such amazing people in my life. I really do. Lucky, lucky me!

At 04 November, 2005 17:00, Blogger Graham Jones said...

Brings back memories.

At 04 November, 2005 19:39, Blogger Jon said...

People helping you all has to do with you being a great person. It seems obvious to me that you are kind and caring, and you would do the same for your friends.

Whenever I need to ask for help with something I also feel shame. More tha I should learn that so that I don't seem so helpless (although I am far from helpless)

At 04 November, 2005 19:50, Blogger Queen of Cheese said...

If you are silly, then I am as well... I too feel warm inside when a friend says "let me do this."

Especially when we're getting cocktails.

I just had a deep thought!! (heh) This is why you walked out of Target with a free coat and an untarnished karmic destiny! Because allowing help into your life has manifested MORE help and now all kinds of good stuff is headed your way!

At 05 November, 2005 17:53, Anonymous Jeannette said...

I suffer from the same thing SWS...super woman syndrome. I believe that it came from my mother and there are days when I love it and many more days when I hate it. It's a tough lesson to learn and I'm still learning. You are truly a wonderful person and that's why people who know you, love you, will help out even if you don't ask.

At 05 November, 2005 21:30, Blogger Jon said...

All that and I think you're gorgeous too :D

At 06 November, 2005 11:47, Blogger terry said...

aww....y'all are so sweet...

getting all warm and fuzzy over here...


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